Halloween

One of the many perks of teaching in an elementary school is I get to dress up a lot.  Not suit dress up- costume dress up.  Today was "Book Character Day" so we had to dress like someone from a book.  This is, I believe, much easier for girls because there are just so many more famous kids book characters that are girls.

I didn't want to do Harry Potter or Gandalf, so I went classic literature and became Robin Hood:

(My fellow Math Lab People)

Now, that was my day costume.  I put it together myself from that arts and crafts foam rubber stuff and brads and a $4 t-shirt.

I also put a ton of work into a Batman costume that I would wear Halloween night when the family and I went out.  Here it is in action:

Now, the kids had homemade costumes courtesy of my Mom- Leslie was a cowgirl:

 And Kenna was a "sparkling pink princess" in her own words:

Kristin was also a cowgirl:

And here is our mostly random family Halloween:

This one was a popular Facebook pic, so I thought I'd share it here:

So, why does a grown man like to dress up as Robin Hood and Batman?

Because it's awesome!

And my kids love it.  I want my kids to not just know it is OK to have fun as a grown-up, I want them to see it lived out.  I've been called childish for my enjoyment of such things, but I feel I need these "silly" moments to remind that there is still a little innocence, a little clean fun to have in the world.  Having moments that remind of being a kid refresh me.

Our girls ran around the Harvest Festival we went to with giant smiles and tons of candy.  And they were there with both their parents who were enjoying it just as much.  That's the kind of family we are, and always want to be.

Repost: Leaving the Ministry to Save My Faith

Re-posted from my other blog for those who follow this one only:

I believe everyone is born an idealist.

Everyone has plans, grand and glorious.  The unfortunate people have those hopes dashed pretty quickly by a terrible luck of the draw with parents or homes or illnesses that destroy.  The slightly more fortunate ones make it to school where bullies and standardized tests chip away at the positivity.  If you make it to college, it generally gets renewed- but then real life puts the choke hold on idealism once again when careers and family obligations stack up.

The really lucky ones are idealists well into their kids teenage years.  Having been a youth minister for seven years, I know first hand the face of dying idealism in a teenager's parent.

At some point, all of us see our dreams die.  But a real idealist will find a way to resurrect that dream, that hope, that call.

Idealism, really, is about an unwillingness to let the core call and dream of you life stay dead.

I began my ministry career- or accepted the call to ministry in church speak- the summer after my sophomore year at A&M sitting beside a stream in Research Park.  The call was clear and specific- God wanted me to go to the ones others would not.

Over the next seven years, I found myself spending time with students that others overlooked.  Befriending them, and disciplining them, and loving them.  In 2007, God called again to plant a church in a bar in College Station to reach college students others missed.  In September of 2008, the Gate met for the first time at Hurricane Harry's.  It has been our home since then.

It was idealistic, for sure.  A church with no funding, no backing, no members, and a handful of adults with no advertising and intended to be led by college students.  One pastor told me point blank it wouldn't work.

He was wrong.

It did- not perfectly by any means, but it grew and deepened and survived.  We saw students come and go, some stayed and became leaders.  They too would eventually leave for jobs and marriage and life.  We reached some students that had seen the church turn their back on them, or at least lose sight of them.  We were like a family.  We saw God do things- never huge things, but good things.  Idealistically, we saw a big breakthrough around every corner.

But it never came.

And people kept graduating, and being called on to new things.  And we began to shrivel a bit.

I held on to idealism, and hope, and stubborn unwillingness to let it go.  We tried to revamp and restart, but it never caught on.  And I grew weary.  And I grew spiritually apathetic.

See, every minister reaches a point when their church threatens to become their lesser god.  At that moment they have choice to choose to seek God at the risk of their church, or let the lesser god suck their true faith.

I am at that crossroads.  For the last year or so, every scripture I have read, every insight I've grasped has been funneled into the leadership of the Gate- to the detriment of my personal relationship with Christ.  Over the last few months, I've awoken to realize my lesser god is not worthy of the attention that should go to the One True God.

My church is good, but it is not God.

I've taken stock of the people who make up the Gate.  They are good people, they are growing in their faith, and they deserve a leader who is passionate about God.  I'm not right now.  But I need to be.

Our church will close on November 18.  We will still meet in our small group for the time being, we will still spend time together and seek Christ together.  Because we are still and will always be a family.

God is calling me to a speaking and writing ministry, but before that happens, I need to get right with God.  It will hurt to end something that has been so dear to me- but my church is just a thing.  The people who make it up will still be a part of my life, so it is not a sad ending.

The church never did all things I dreamed it would.  It never got huge, it never did a ton of cool ministry things.  But it was not a failure.

It helped people find Christ again.  My daughter was baptized in this church.  I have been challenged and encouraged and tested by this church.  I have failed some- but in the end, God has shown me victory.

I am leaving the ministry to save my faith.

I will not be gone forever, and when I return, it will be different.  I will have new dreams, new plans, new hopes.

Idealism reborn- as authored by God.

As soon as I find Him again.  Shouldn't be long, because even though I've lost sight of Him, He's never lost me.

The Gate was a good thing, but it was a lesser thing.  It got in the way of God- the greatest thing.  I've grown bored of the lesser thing, and hunger for God is beginning to grow.

For those who are a part of the Gate now- or ever have been, we are still on this journey with Christ together, even though the Gate is ending.  We will still walk closely together as long as possible, it will just look different.  I'm sorry for the ways I've failed you, thankful for the things I've learned from you, and expectant to see the good things God did in you that I got to be a part of building.

We are all born idealist.  Then, idealism dies so it can be reborn as something better- hope.  And faith.  Faith in Christ our Savior- a greater thing than any that has come before or will ever come.

Please, pray for me and each other as we all move forward in pursuit of Christ.

May God bless you all.

Kids Worth Bragging On

Sure, all parents want to brag on their kids.  It's sort of a selfish pride thing.  The truth is, and I have been guilty of this in the past, we make our kids out to be better than they really are.  We want to see them as perfect and smart and talented and everything we wish could have been but weren't.

And that, my friends, is a parent's right.

But every now and then, your kids do something that is so good, you keep your mouth shut and let other people brag.

Kenna had that kind of day last week.  She has been doing well in Kindergarten, and last week she received the responsibility of being the class monitor (or "in charge of the class" as Kenna put it) while the teacher stepped out.  She has become a responsible little girl, and someone else noticed it.

This week at gymnastics, she showed improvement there as well.  Here is here back bend:

Also at gymnastics this week, Leslie did this:

It was her first time to try, and she worked and worked a dozen or so times until she got it.

But that is not the most brag worthy thing.  No, that came later.

Leslie has asthma.  It's not bad, but it gets kicked up real bad when she does lots of exercise.  Like this (with a little brag worthy shot of Kenna's beam work):

She came out to us, not breathing well, and we had forgotten her inhaler.  Bad parents.  Slowly we got her calmed down and told her to go back out and just sit with the team, no push to work out.  Soon, she was working out again.  It was clear the coaches were not pushing her, it was all her.

After practice, we were paying for something at the front counter, and one of the coaches caught us and said, "Thank you!"

"For what?" we asked.

"For whatever it is you do that gives her such a great attitude.  She is the only one who smiles through conditioning.  She is so mature and such a hard worker.  She has a great attitude."

Another coach chimed in, "And tonight, she kept trying to work out even when she couldn't breathe.  The other kids had to tell us.  She works so hard."

I can't speak for Kristin, but there was at least a tiny tear in my eye.  I know how special my kids are, and I sometimes brag a little too much.

But when other adults are so impressed with my kids, I can't help but blast the brag horn loud.