Fellowship?

Fellowship. Community. Small groups. Accountability partners. 

Whatever your buzzword, the thing those words are searching for is perhaps the most vital thing for a Christian- apart from Christ Himself. Without Him, you cannot find them. Without them, you will falter, you will fall. 

For five years, Kristin and I were part of our church plant the Gate. We had great times together with our fellow church goers. There was fun, there were lots of deep conversations, there was shared grief and shared joy. There were tough times and happy times. We talked about doing life together by keeping in constant contact via social media, we met for coffee weekly in smaller groups, we met in a home for weekly Bible studies and at the bar our church called home on Sunday nights. 

Most would call this fellowship, community or whatever your buzzword is.   

But it was missing something. 

When the Gate ended, Kristin and I began a search for a church. We've been involved with two great churches. They have many of the same things the Gate did, but they too are missing something. 

Philippians 3:10-11 NIV, italics mine

 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation     (some translations say fellowship) in his sufferings,becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Yes, we suffered with each other in tough times. We cried when there was loss,w we comforted when there was sickness and fear. 

But that is not the suffering being referred to here. 

Jesus' sufferings on the cross- the subject of this verse- was about dying so that others might live. 

What does that even mean to us today?

Well, I think it means we go to battle for each other. We pray for each other when there is need, we confront each other when there is sin, and we walk with each other when one is stumbling. 

Our biggest failure in the Gate was this. We did not call out wrong actions. We did not walk closely with each other when one struggled.

If I am willing to share my sin openly, and no one offers to walk with me in that struggle- is it fellowship?  Is it any better if someone offers, but when it gets tough, they 'lose track' or 'it slips their mind?'  Is it ok to overlook sin so that we can keep being "church friends?"

My experience is that these are the failings of the modern church. I know I have overlooked sin to keep from alienating people I was pastoring. I know I have shared my struggles, and not hand an offer to help- or gotten an offer that was half-hearted. I did have one friend who stuck it out, but we moved churches and I stopped pressing the need for support. 

If fellowship is to make us more like Christ- we must be willing to die to ourselves. We must be willing to risk relationships to say the hard thing. We must be willing to sacrifice time to walk with those who need counsel. We must look at church fellowship as closer to the Fellowship of the Rings than an episode of Friends. 

Fellowships are dangerous. Yes, the "coffee talks" and hanging out are still necessary parts of fellowship, but without the willingness of all parties to walk the tough roads together, it is just a social club. 

Fellowships don't always last. Sometimes they are there for a certain season of our lives. When the need they met, the struggle they aided in passes, it ends. A new fellowship- or at least somewhat altered fellowship- must form. 

Fellowships are intimate. AKA dangerous again. True fellowship is open and honest. That means they are messy. Sometimes personalities clash, or one part wants to dig theologically into things while others want to talk about how their day sucked. There will be conflicts, but they can serve to strengthen the individual and the group. 

When the Gate ended, I felt that I was done with the ministry.  For the last two and a half years, my spiritual journey has been a crawl. So I never thought God would call me to lead out again. 

But he is. 

Kristin and I are praying about something. It's similar but different from roads we've walked before. It would be starting something, but it would lack formality. It would look like this:

•It would be at our home. 

•It would be VERY informal. 

•It would strive to answer the needs in this post- and others not stated here. 

We would just gather to seek God with any who want to ask the questions we are asking. I've learned I do not have the answers. But Jesus does. So I've decided to ask Him those questions. 

Who wants to join me?