DAY SIXTY TWO: The Storm After the Calm

There was hope that we would hear about Kristin's job interview today, one way or another.  I'll say up front, we did not hear.  And that, perhaps, is the worst part.

One of the reasons Kristin and I work so well together is that we balance each other.  When I'm down, she's up and vice versa.  But we also think the same, and not hearing back about a job that we have to wait all weekend for a yay or nay is driving us both a bit crazy.  For me, it's just not being able to really enjoy that little fact I have a job.

For Kristin, it's more like the feelings I had a week or two back.  Not as rough as mine, by any stretch, but definitely struggling with trusting God for the long term.  He's clearly taking care of us now, but it can be hard to see the way in a couple months.

Fortunately, I am reading that marriage book that had just expressly told me not to try to "fix" Kristin's mood.  Instead, I empathized with her, and listened to her as she vented.

Finally, we all realized that we were torturing ourselves just waiting around, so we went swimming.  A great cure for boredom inspired anxiety, in case you were wondering.

So, now we try our best to not worry about whether she got the job or not this weekend.  We're pretty sure we'll be OK whatever the answer is, but this waiting is killer.

But to be honest, we'd really like to start July with good, anxiety killing, news.

DAY SIXTY ONE: How Hope is Kindled

Today was the day of two interviews, and both of them at Elementary Schools. 

The first one was for an Autism aide, and getting ready for the interview, I was excited.  I thought it would be challenging, and a unique chance to work with students who could use help.  The interview went well, but I left feeling like this wasn't for me.  I mean, if it was offered, I'd take it, because I need it, but it might not be the best fit.

The second interview was for an aide in a Math Lab.  Yes, that is one letter away from something bad, but it was really a lot like Resource/Tutoring.  Pull kids out of class that are behind in math, help them get caught up, and send them on.  It would require lots of flexibility, and working with lots of different kids.  Again, the interview went well, and I seemed to hit it off with the interviewers really well.  In fact, as I left, I called Kristin to tell her that I felt really good about what I would be doing there- better than the other interviews for sure.

I ran to the grocery store afterwards, because we had no food for dinner.  I decided on fajitas.  This meant I had to go to Walmart to get a refill of propane.  While on the way, the phone rang.

The number was from one of the places I interviewed, but just wasn't sure who.

Turns out it was South Knoll, the Math Lab.  They had talked about it after I left, and wanted to offer me the job!  (I've had good interviews, but getting the job within twenty minutes of the interview is probably a record!)

I am so thankful for all the prayers, and for the act of God to redeem my faith.  We still wait for Kristin to get a job, and getting good news on that front would be amazing.  But we have hope to carry on now.  Add to that good news, another anonymous gift in our mailbox today that will help us make it to the first paycheck.

I plan to continue a daily update until Kristin gets a job.  And probably after that, too.  It feels good to share my day, and my venting, and my victories with people.  My hope is that you may be encouraged by my life- and that I may be held accountable for actually living it because I've got someone to report to about it!

DAY SIXTY: You Can't Always Get What You Want?

The day I interviewed for the position I didn't get, the song "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones was playing when I drove up.  I tried really hard to not see that symbolism.

I don't recall what song was playing today as I drove up for the Special Ed position at Consol.  Actually, it was four positions- two Adaptive Behavior and two Life Skills (one was at the new High School).  But I was thinking when they asked me why I wanted a special ed class position, "Why do I want a special ed class position?"  I'd not applied for it, and I was a little uncomfortable with it, but yeah, I was here because I needed a job.  And it was an aide position, which I did want.

I finished the interview, and thought about the interview tomorrow- an elementary aide position.  I recalled this- and my so-called fear of small children.  Later on in the day, I got called for a third interview- for an Autism class at College Hills Elementary.  Where Kristin did her student teaching.

I noticed a pattern- I wanted normal ed aide positions in High Schools.  I had one chance in High School, but not normal ed.  I'm not getting what I wanted.

But then, what I really wanted was a job in education- and the fact that in two days I will have interviewed for six positions seemed really cool.

Perhaps things happen not just as we planned them- perhaps God is telling me to be open to special ed.  And small children hugging me.

Kristin's interview also went well, but again, we're not getting hopes up.  It seems her principal from Cypress Grove had already been talked to, and that is a good thing for many reasons.  It's also strange to think that she had been resistant to Bryan, yet she seemed to be very interested.

I am reminded of Psalm 37:3-6

Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,     your vindication like the noonday sun.

Perhaps God is changing our desires to be His, and then He will grant them.  Perhaps this is another test.  Either way, this time, we trust in God, not the job interviews.

DAY FIFTY NINE: Some Levity

As is usual, when we came home from my mom's house, we came home with stuff from my childhood.  This trip included a pull up bar (never used because I was too impatient to take the time to unscrew it to fit in the doorway) and some bows without arrows.

I was actually excited about both.  Shooting arrows is relaxing, and the pull up bar would be useful for the girls to work on gymnastics, we just had to make sure it was removed after use so no one walked into when they weren't paying attention.

The girls have made use of it already, setting up pillows on the floor and doing gymnastics moves.  So, I decided to try to use it for workout stuff, including reverse push ups and inverted sit ups (the ones where you hang by your legs).

After the first set, the backs of my legs hurt pretty bad.  So I, being the inventive guy I am, started using oven mitts for cushion.  This helps a lot.  The other hard part was the swinging back and forth created by the motion-fortunately, my fingertips touch the ground enough to stop the back and forth.

Near the end of my workout, I decided to get something out of the kitchen.  I can't remember what.  Whatever it was, I turned and walked through the kitchen door.  Well, actually, I didn't make it through the door, seeing as how my forehead just above my right eye caught the pull up bar dead on.  I think that's why I can't remember what I was looking for.

Thankfully, there is no swelling or black eye- and no headache.  Pretty sure that means no concussion.  I think.

Now, that's not how my day began.  It began with a phone call.  It seems I have a job interview tomorrow at 10:30at A&M Consolidated High School for an aide position in a Special Education class.  Now, I'm excited, but perplexed, as I didn't apply for any Special Ed positions. 

Then, this afternoon, while meeting with a friend, I got another interview at South Knoll Elementary for an aide position Thursday at 1:30.  Again, odd because I didn't apply for any Elementary positions- and the caller even noted that and asked if was even interested.  Here's hoping it is a PE aide position, so I can wear sweats to school.

But if it is, I'll have to be sure to watch out for pull up bars.

DAY FIFTY SEVEN AND FIFTY EIGHT: A Salvation

Friday was spent at my mom's house because we were in town for my cousin's son's birthday.  It was also spent in the pool.  Now, my mom's pool is cool- literally.  Twenty years or so ago there was little shade around the pool, but now there is little sunlight around the pool.  It was at about 80 degrees and shady in the water.

And that, together with a contact lens biting the dust, was why I spent just a little time in the pool.

Because of the contact lens death, I had to get my eyes checked because I can't get new contacts with a two year old prescription.  And my prescription has changed about four times since I changed my glasses last.  After the eye doctor, we went to the party, then we took the girls to see Brave.  Not Pixar's best, and a little too adult, if you ask me.  Too scary and too many bare men's bottoms for my taste. But the good was that we got to see both grandmothers- Kristin's mom came in for the movie- and our friend Jeff, who we get to see far too seldom.

Sunday we headed home, and encountered the subject of today's blog.

Leslie approached us and said she wanted to get baptized.  We asked her questions about sin, about Jesus, and about salvation.  After flawless answers, we asked her this:  "Do you feel like you want to do this, or that you have to do this."  She said she had to.

So Leslie prayed to receive Christ as her Lord and Savior yesterday afternoon.  We are so excited, but not as excited as she is.  Tonight, I told her she had the opportunity to mentor Kenna- and explained what mentor meant.  The excitement grew.

Today was another shot of hope, as well.  Kristin has an interview at Fannin Elementary in Bryan on Wednesday for a music position.  We pray that if this is what God wants, it would happen soon, and we pray that we trust in Him above all.

That's a lesson we can learn from Leslie.

DAY FIFTY SIX: It's the Small Things

-In an attempt to clean out some leftovers, I ate too much.  A third of a pie and a quarter of a lasagna with a lot of Dr. Pepper and a 2/3rds of the water I need for the day before 4 p.m. means a stomach ache.  But the good thing is, I loved each bite.  What's more?  I have the luxury of the problem of too much food- and a really high metabolism.

-Finally got to watch some of my Father's Day gift- the second season of Justice League Unlimited cartoon.  Yes, I am thirty two- but its a good show.  Love how no matter what happens, or how big the bad guy is, Batman wins.

-Gas is down to $3.20 at our Sam's.  Yeah, it is still too high, but that's the lowest it has been in a while.  It's nice to fill up a car for less than $40.  For now.

-I didn't mow the yard today.  I needed to, but I didn't.

-The cat finally learned to massage my back!  Unfortunately, I was trying to sleep at the time.  Now, to teach him about the appropriateness of timing.

-Not technically a small thing, but someone who apparently wants to remain anonymous, sent my family a gift card and note of encouragement to keep trusting in God's provision.  That means a lot, more than can be expressed here.

DAY FIFTY FIVE: Why My Wife is Awesome

I've mentioned several times how much I appreciate my wife.  She is truly a special lady, but today I was reminded of just why she is.

This morning, she began applying for more jobs.  Any open elementary position she was certified for at Bryan ISD, she applied for.  She's already done that for College Station, but has been holding off on Bryan and other surrounding area schools because she doesn't know as much about them.  She jumped into a position in her one year of experience that really hurt her, and she has been very cautious about where to look- but we're at a point where both of us are stretching our comfort level in an effort to get the type of career we want.

About that year from Hell.  She was teaching Life Skills (Serious special ed, one of her kids was blind, deaf, and in a wheelchair.  Basically, these kids were being taught basic stuff, just to survive.) in Marlin, where I was a youth minister.  She took the job with the promise she would have no more than 9 kids with two very experienced aides.  She showed up to find no aide, and more kids.  By the end of the first month, she had fourteen kids.  Finally, she got an eighteen year old recent grad as an aide.  She later got pregnant, and was often sick.  During that year, a school counselor was fired for sexual harassment.  A new hire teacher in January started paying 5th graders to call in bomb threats so she wouldn't have to teach her class.  The principal disappeared during the TAKS testing.  Kristin viewed a victory day as one that no one got seriously hurt in class, because it was so overwhelming.  She was destroyed by the school, and at the same time saw victories in the students she taught- one kid started the year by coming to class in violent tears because he had such bad experiences the year before, and she got him to love school.

When we moved after that year, she was thankful to take a year off because we moved to a town of 3,000 and 1,500 of them were teachers.  No chance for a job there.  Then we began our family and she happily settled into being a stay at home mom.

But, now, our kids will both be in school.  And she was willing to step up and try to teach again.  I watched her apply this morning, to schools she knew little about other than they were near us.  I saw the trepidation- and at the same time, determination- to do what she needed for her family.  I saw in her eyes the war between fear and hope, and I saw hope winning out.

When we met, she always said she needed to be stronger, to have more of a backbone.  I think she's always been stronger than she thinks.  But she has a determination, a work ethic, that when she engages that, she becomes unstoppable.  I see it in her attempts to get employment, and I see it in her work to reach her goal to fit into her wedding dress on our tenth anniversary in less than a month.  I've no doubt she will fit in that dress, because she has put her mind to it.

And I've no doubt that any school administration would  be blessed if they would give her a chance.  Because the same determination she applied to trying to get a job and get in that dress she applies daily to her family, and would apply daily to her students.

That's why she is awesome.

DAY FIFTY FOUR: What is Security?

I'm reading a men's marriage book with a friend, while our wives go through the women's version- then we compare notes.  This week's chapter was on how security for a woman doesn't just mean financial security.  In fact, emotional security, knowing her man is there for her and loves her, is vastly more important.

I figure, well, I've got this one down.

But all the talk of security got me thinking about what we really view security as.  Is it a full bank account?  Is it being loved?  Is it a steady job?  Is it retirement and savings and health insurance?  Is it a loaded gun?  Is it being in control?  It's probably at least one of those and a dozen others for each of us.

But what happens when forces outside of our control take away that security?  The account gets hacked, the significant other takes off, you get fired, the stock market crashes.  Control is nowhere in sight.  In fact, you start to think that control is an illusion.  It is nothing you can really achieve.

Even if you can achieve all the things that give you security and control, there are multitudes of things that can take them away.  Things you cannot control.  An employer's whim, a natural disaster, a war a half a world away can all destroy the carefully manicured life you've built.

I've always said there are four things I see in my perfect job:  1)I'm passionate about it, 2) it's flexible/good hours, 3) it pays the bills, 4) and I feel secure in it.  My last job never captured number 1, but I was OK with that because the other three were there and it enabled me to serve my church- where I got number 1.  But when those things eroded, down to where only number 2 was left, it began to kill me.  Rather, I became keenly aware that it had always been killing me. 

Because if you do something you don't love- 2 and 3 won't matter, and you'll never have anything but the illusion of 4.

For me, security lies in doing what I love.  Doing something that matters, something that I'm passionate about.  If I can do something that I feel called to do, I can feel secure that the other things will take care of themselves.

For this reason, I am refusing to seek employment simply for a paycheck.  I've done that for four years, and I died a little inside.  No, I died a lot inside.  I thought I had no choice, because I had bills to pay.  And I do.

But I am trusting that God wants me to live for Him, not survive.  I want to work in the schools (and Kristin wants to teach), even as an underpaid aide, because I love to work with students and people to achieve their best.  To see them grow and learn- not just facts and answers- but what life is all about.  Who they are, and who they are becoming.  That is where I see and feel the most joy- be it in the church or as a teacher or as a volunteer somewhere.

That is where I find my security.

DAY FIFTY THREE: Making an Ishmael

I got to thinking about something today.

I believe it is possible, and in fact probable, that we can often place more faith in a promise than the person or entity promising it. 

I think I was placing my faith more in the promise that God would take care of us.  Now, this is not a bad promise, in fact, it's a great one.  But I was only looking at the promise, and not the promise maker.  Like Abraham did when he fathered Ishmael to fulfill God's promise of a son.  Except, God's plan was for Isaac, who would not be born like everyone expected.  Abraham believed the promise, but seemed to think he was better suited to get the promise than God.

I believe that God wants us to stay in College Station, pastor the Gate, and work in the schools so we have the same basic schedule as our kids.  I believe that will happen.  But, because I have a lot of trust issues, I got really frustrated when things didn't materialize in the way I intended. 

So, I made an Ishmael.

I making this phrase up just now, and it means taking steps to fulfill God's promise when He seems too slow for us.  My Ishmael was to only see what was right there in front of me, and when that proved not to be the promise fulfillment, I got really angry and upset. 

I've had a few days, and I am still struggling to trust, but it is definitely getting better.  Largely because I've learned that the power of the promise (or our hopes) is not in the promise themselves, but in the God who makes them come true. 

So, I must trust in God, not the things He provides.

And sometimes, by doing that, you get what you're hoping for.

Eventually.

DAY FIFTY TWO: Restful Break

Honestly, not much happened today, aside from me constantly thinking it was Saturday.

Kristin talked on the phone with her best friend Naomi for a while, and the girls hung out around the house and with the neighbor's granddaughter.

We went swimming in the afternoon, had some spaghetti for dinner, then went to the mall and got Leslie's free cookie for perfect attendance.  OK< and I got cookies, as well.

Lazy days are good, especially after the week we've had.  I've applied for a couple more jobs, one of which closed yesterday. I think that means they won't accept more applications and will now start sifting through and interviewing. 

Here's trusting for a quiet weekend before a storm of job offers next week.

DAY FIFTY ONE: Carry On Wayward Son

There is this feeling I've had about three times now.  It is kind of hard to explain, the best I can come up with is that it feels like an army of ants each carrying an electric shock.  It is sudden, it is brief and it is either located up the back of my neck into the back of my head, or it sits in my throat and into my lower jaw.

The first time I ever felt it, I was getting fired.  The second time was Tuesday when Kristin called to tell me she didn't get the job.  The third time was about two hours after I declared I would choose to hope for just one day- when I got the call that I did not get the job.

I'm sure it is an anxiety thing, some sort of warning system screaming out "Watch out, here comes soul crushing news!"

Whatever it is, I'm tired of getting it.

This morning, I mowed the lawn.  This is thinking time for me, and today it was a conversation with God.  Not terribly different than the ones I've had with Him the last two days, but this time I let Him talk a bit.

I asked Him how it can be good for Him that I tell others "I trust in God, and know He will see me out of something because I faith in His goodness and His power to do something," and then continually face loss.  Since I've known Christ, I've lost all my grandparents, my father, and my father-in-law.  (He responded, that He has given me my wife and children, and those family members I still have.)  I've faced strife from churches I served at- sometimes directed at people other than me, but I got collateral fallout.  Sometimes it was directed at me exclusively and to the point my job was on the line.  (He said that He remembered that one, and reminded me that I should remember that not only did my job not disappear, but those coming after me were pretty well silenced by the defense of other people.)  I was fired.  (God reminded me I asked to get out of that job, frequently.)  Then I quoted Psalm 69:6:  "May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, The LORD Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel."  The truth is, I now there are people watching me.  Some are praying for me, and yes, some are watching to see if I fall.  Others are watching to see if God really will help someone who claims to follow Him.  I believe that when someone says they are trusting God, or trying to, and yet never see God rescue them, it makes those who are not sure about God all the more leery. 

God's response was Romans 15:13- "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

This stings a bit, because in college, it was my favorite verse.  I liked the word 'overflow.'  Why had this verse popped into my mind unless the Spirit was telling me something.  And then it hit me:  "as you trust in Him."  I can only have hope, if I trust in Him.  Now, I don't think that means that until this week, I didn't trust Him enough.  

But I am beginning to think I didn't trust Him long enough.  

All Because Of A Song

I was sitting at Sonic during Happy Hour, because someone had drank all the cold Dr. Pepper at home and neglected to tell me, when it came on.  It is my favorite song, and pretty much has been since I first discovered it watching Supernatural, one of my favorite shows.  The show is the story of two brothers who hunt monsters.  But they discover they have a destiny, and well, it sucks.  They are going to basically die to start the pseudo-Biblical end times.  So, they go off script and make their new destiny to save the world.

They are most definitely underdogs, with only a handful of hunters like themselves, a single angel, and God who seems...rather quiet.  And distant.  It is why this song is so appropriate for the show. 

And for me.



The song played as I got my Route 44, and the theme of the song hit me:  Don't give up.  Life is hard.  Rest is coming, but not yet.  The brothers in Supernatural get angry at God, but at a key point, one of them simply says, "Help me."  And their road doesn't end, and it doesn't get easier.  But they carry on.  They are the wayward sons.

I too have gotten/am angry with God.  But I am also saying "Help me."  I am a wayward son.  So, I must carry on.

I still don't know if a job will come for me or Kristin.  But I am realizing that I've spent time trying to conjure hope, when I cannot make my own.  My energy is better spent trusting God and letting Him fill me with hope to overflow.

But it is not easy, and I am not "all better."  Not yet.  I still need to see some victory, I still need to see God show up and show off.  Not just for me and my family, but for those watching who also need a reminder that God works. 



For we are all wayward sons and daughters.  Let us carry on together.

DAY FIFTY: One Day At A Time

Today, I woke up with a hope that was amazing and filling.  I just knew everything was going to be all right because God would never let us suffer.  I mean, He never lets His children suffer, right?

Sunshine and Rainbows.

That's what kind of Christianity that is to me.  It feels good to say and hear, but it lacks any real substance.  It feels like a facade because God absolutely let's us suffer for no good reason other than to prove a point.  I give you Job. 

And I did not wake up with that attitude.

I woke up still tired.

Some friends of ours from Seymour, the Hanks, were in town and stopped by for a chat.  Before they got here, I rushed to work out and spend some time beating some of my frustration into the punching bag, then we cleaned house a bit.  Then I hauled some branches to the side of the road because the storm last night blew them down.  (That storm produced a double rainbow, by the way.  Cute, God, but I need a job more than a cool light show.  And yes, maybe it was His way of trying to say He's got this, but I was still a little angry.  And, well, Sunshine and Rainbows.)

The visit was good, and caught up on their lives as they listened to us vent and talk about our lives.  After lunch, Leslie went to a book discussion group at the library and the rest of us ran errands.

Throughout the day, Kristin would say she is still choosing to hope, and if I choose not to, that's OK.  She'll hope for both of us.  Meanwhile, I was wanting to simple adopt a "Carpe Diem" attitude.  Really, it is more of a do whatever I can to enjoy myself- buy what I want, eat out- indulge myself in simple pleasures to get a little enjoyment each day.  And not be concerned about the money running out.  Not sound financial planning, and I'm pretty sure Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman would want to slap me around a bit, but I really didn't care.

But there is something to that idea of just living for today, and that thought took root.  Through conversations through the day, from the Hanks to Kristin to Daniel over coffee, I related this idea, and naturally, received skeptical looks.  But I also began to realize that my unhappiness and my trouble trusting God was directly related to my struggle with knowing the long term answers. 

I cannot, at this moment, trust God for two months down the road, a month, or even a week.

But I can, and I must (despite my own objections) trust Him for today.  I can do that.  If I trust that my needs- physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual- are met for just today, I am re-learning to trust God.  And in that, I am finding a happiness for the day, a hope for the day.

And if I survive this day, tomorrow I will wake and seek to trust Him again for that day.  Maybe one day I will wake and say, "Today, I woke up with a hope that was amazing and filling."  And it will be a long term hope.  Maybe it will be tomorrow. 

But I'm not gonna worry about it today.  Today I'm just gonna trust that God will get me through this day, and enjoy it while I can.

DAY FORTY NINE: Heartbreak

Kristin found out she did not get the job at Oakwood- the one she felt went well.

Yes, I know that I still have my interview possibility, and Kristin still has her other one, but I can't hope anymore.

I am tired.


I am tired of trusting that God is taking care of us.  Our friends and family have been generous and kind and provided for us, and you may say that God has been behind that.  Maybe He has.  But I'm just not sure.







Is this a crisis of faith?  Absolutely.  Will I be OK once I vent some?  I don't know this time.  Usually I can conclude on of my "doubting blogs" with hope, but I just can't seem to muster any.  We have seen the hope of some rescue from the deadline of our savings running out several times now.  I've been denied three or four jobs at A&M, Kristin has now been denied two jobs she was more than qualified for- the last one she really wanted.







I know some of you will want to give me encouraging Scripture or gentle platitudes.  Some will want to tell me to be patient, to hold on to hope a little longer.  Some will want to tell me that God has control of this.


Please don't.

I know those answers.  I've told them to people too many times myself.  I've seen them come true for many of those people.  But it has been a long time since I have seen them come true for my family. 

Please pray for us.  Please pray for me.  I want to trust God, I want to believe He has good planned for me, but I just cannot muster the strength to do that right now.

DAYS FORTY SEVEN AND FORTY EIGHT: Interview-a-palooza

Things got really busy last Friday, so I am combining Friday and Monday into this one blog entry.

I had my interview Friday with Venture Academy- the Alternative School for College Station ISD.  I met with four people:  Principal, Assistant Principal, Dean of Students, and a teacher.  They asked questions like what I thought a teacher's duty was, why I felt students would act out in such a way as to be sent to this school.  They asked how I would deal with a student getting in my face and calling me names.  My general response to their questions was that often these students come from single parent homes or any home where a parent has trouble giving them attention- parents who are absent even while present.  Students want positive attention, but if they can't get that, they'll take negative attention over none.  I explained that trying to identify with them and have compassion with them were key.  And that communication between team members, and with students and their parents was the most important key to success.  When asked how to deal with an irate parent, my response was that if a parent is interested enough in their kid to fight for them, that is a good thing- we just need to find a way to work together.  They seemed to like me, so we will see.

I am supposed to know by Wednesday of this week, Friday at the latest.

After that, the girls went to Parent's Night Out  and Kristin and I went to dinner for date night.  It is a great chance for us to just be together and have fun, without a kid asking a question every ten seconds.  Plus, the kids get three hours of exercise for less than it would cost for a babysitter for less time.

This weekend we had a dress rehearsal for the girls musical, a birthday party for Leslie's BFF, and a birthday party at a Hibachi grill in Belton for Kristin's 90 year old grandmother.  It was the kids first memorable experience with a Hibachi, and the loved it.  But for you Seymour readers, it was no Samurai's.  Sunday, the girls did their musical at Hillcrest Baptist, so the moms and Mi Mi Mac came down.  When we asked the girls where they wanted to eat for lunch since they were the stars, they talked it out and came up with "CHUYS!"  They are so well trained.  That night we had our planning meeting for the re-launch of the Gate.  Just brainstorming, and now we pray over those ideas to see where God leads us.

Today, Kristin had her two interviews.  The first was at Oakwood for the Math Resource Special Ed class.  She said she seemed to really connect with the interviewers, and that several of her answers garnered a very positive response- especially her answer that compassion is the most important feature of a teacher.  She is really hoping for this one to work, as it is in the same district as the kids, and if we both got our jobs, we could drive to work together as the two schools share a campus, basically.

She just got back from her interview for Life Skills at Henderson Elementary in Bryan.  She did not feel it went as well, but she was going into it blind, only knowing it was for Special Ed in Bryan ISD somewhere.  We shall see if anything comes from it, but we're both hoping for Oakwood.

The girls are going to VBS at Hillcrest Baptist this week, so we get our evenings to ourselves.  I think tonight is a resting night, after the Interview-a-palooza of the last few days.

DAY FORTY SIX: Gymnastics and Asthma Don't Mix

Almost as soon as I finished the blog last night, Kristin received a second interview, this time at Bryan ISD for an elementary Special Ed position.  We don't know any details other than that right now, but she has both interviews on Monday.

So, that put everyone in a great mood yesterday, three job interviews between us.  We had our small group Bible Study, then went to bed.

Today was low key, we ran some errands and got birthday gifts for a couple upcoming kid's parties, and got Kristin a plumbago.  It's a flower.  We planted it in the front yard for some more color.  The plan was to plant it so when it rained, like the weather idiots said it would, the plant would settle well. 

It never rained.

I quickly cleaned up for gymnastics and we headed out.  It was Leslie's first night on Bronze Team.  It's not a competitive team, but they go for an hour and a half and the skill level shoots right on up there.  Les kinda struggled at first, but she got her rhythm quickly, even practically doing a round off/back handspring all by herself- one of three volunteers that got to go before the class.  She was keeping up well with the rest of the class, once again doing "man push ups" while the other kids struggled.  Maybe what made me most proud was the fact that she never quit.  Other kids would do an exercise 90 % of the way, then kind of loaf the end if the coach wasn't watching.  Leslie clearly pushed it all the way through, even if the coaches weren't watching.

This created a bit of an issue, as she had an asthma attack from pushing herself so hard.  She couldn't catch her breath, and came and sat out for a bit.  After she was better, and could breathe, we encouraged her to not let fear keep her back, and she went back out for the bars- her favorite.  She was such a trooper.

Kenna does gymnastics as well.  Let's just say she takes a more artistic and creative approach to it.  She's good, but she is much more relaxed about it.  It is entertaining to watch how often she makes her coach smile and shake her head.  But the improvement we see in her is great, and she has a great time doing it.

Tomorrow is my interview.  I'm excited and a tad nervous, but not much.  It's a huge step toward some much longed for hope.  And with Kristin's two interviews Monday, I'm allowing a tiny bit of optimism to pierce the fog of pessimism.

Just a bit.

DAY FORTY FIVE: Good News and Pie

Was awoken this morning to the sound of an ecstatic wife running into the bedroom announcing, "I've got an interview!"  Followed by an apologetic, "Sorry I woke you!"

I assured her that any job interview was worth waking me up for, and she explained that it was for a 5th-6th Math Resource at Oakwood Intermediate.  She'd gotten a call about it (but I only got an email, I feel slighted) and set it up for Monday at 11:30.  When we met almost 11 years ago, she wanted to do Resource- just not Math or 5th and 6th graders.  We're trusting this is God's will or will be a means to reveal said will.

That was a good start to the day, so I decided to have pie for breakfast.  I don't think I've properly conveyed how much I love pie.  There is this moment when the pie first touches my lips that I feel the clouds part and heaven open up.  There might be harps and angels singing.  Over my life I've accused many things of being manna from heaven:  Krispy Kreme Donuts and Great American Cookie Company Cookie Cakes being the most common.  But I've seen the error of my thinking.

It is clearly Chocolate Pie.

After that we went to see the newly remodeled MSC on campus.  The flag room is just as I remember it, and they have much better looking eating options.  But the bookstore is now Barnes and Nobles On Campus, and everything is very modern and stylish and luxury hotel-ish.  It does not feel like a living room anymore.  I'm sure it will grow on me, but for now, it's just OK.

Gonna grab some dinner and have our small group Bible study, then some pie.  Because you CANNOT have enough pie.

DAY FORTY FOUR: Camping Aftermath

We waited until the temp dropped below 90 to set up the tent, to minimize the heating.  That meant the tent didn't go up until after 10.  And it was still 87.

Leslie and Kenna popped out of the house to check the progress, and Les asked, "Why are the animals making so much noise?  It's night time."  After explaining that many animals are nocturnal- and what nocturnal was- she gave a disapproving look.

It was nearly 11 before we were all in the tent- part of this was planned so that the girls would be super tired and go straight to sleep, but part was just us being slow.  We tried to get the dog to stay out with us, but she much preferred the air conditioned house.

She was the smart one.

At first we all laid down quietly to try and get some sleep, but it was just too hot.  I got up to sit by the tent window where a teeny-tiny breeze could be felt.  Soon, all four of us crowded around the window, and Kenna pointed out a star "that's moving."  Kristin, Leslie and I attempted to correct her when we all realized that Kenna was the only who could see anything- the rest of us were without our corrective lenses.  So, we let her be.

We tried to sleep again, and the sweat just poured off of us.  None of us were in a bag- except Kenna- and there was just no cooling off.  Slowly, everyone dozed off.  Then I was woken by a dog barking.  Ours.  In the house.  I quieted her down and went back to sleep.

Kristin and I slept in the middle, each of us with only one kid beside us.  Leslie was next to me, and I woke up about four times in the night because of this.  The first time, she was laying in an L shape with her head in my back.  The second was an L shape with her feet in my back.  The third time, she straightened out and rolled to put her feet in my hamstrings.  Finally, I woke to find her sideways at my feet.  She woke, realized this, and crawled back to her starting point.

Kenna, apparently, never moved.

Needless to say, Kristin and I needed copious amounts of caffeine today.

I worked on replacing an old toilet paper holder in the guest bath and thus did my first ever work with drywall.  Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

We went swimming again, and discovered that the female lifeguards are jerks who make up rules not posted on the rule board.  For instance, parents cannot be nearby the slide to catch kids coming down.  Yet they will allow kids with life preservers- aka they can't swim- to go down the slide.  This makes sense, no?

The cool news of the day is that I got a job interview for Venture Academy, the alternative (DAEP for those in the know) school for 7th -12th graders in CSISD.  It'll be Friday at 11, so the first step toward employment is taken.  Hopefully, tomorrow is Kristin's turn.  She got her resume in to Bryan ISD today for several positions, and emailed her principal from her subbing about another CSISD one.  We'll see!

DAY FORTY THREE: Let the Summer Begin...

Yesterday, I got the chance to guest preach at Engage Calvary, a local church here in town.  The pastor and I met when their chance planned a youth event last year and we volunteered to help out.  And, two of the members of the leadership are cousins of Kristin.  I swear, that girl has cousins everywhere.  Anyway, it went pretty well, people seemed to get something out of it, but I felt it could have been better.  I'm often my toughest critic on speaking. 

I'd love to do more of this kind of thing, so if anyone needs a guest preacher, give me a call.

Today, summer began in earnest.

Kristin and I decided to give in to the begging from the girls and have a campout in the backyard.  It's kinda like boot-camp for actual camping.  We'd planned to do it Tuesday night, but there is a slight chance of rain, so it got moved up to tonight.  This meant I had to mow.  Now, the yard is at that point where drought and healthy grass are waging a turf (pun intended) war.  That means some grass is really tall, but the dust is really billowy.  Half the yard resides in my eyes and nose right now, but the backyard is ready for the tent.  Which will go up after dark when it's cooler.  Like in the upper 80's.

Kristin was busy this morning with her resume to Bryan ISD, then we had lunch and went grocery shopping before heading to the pool for the first family outing.  Due to a generous gift from my mother, we have a summer pass which provides our family plenty of entertainment time and exercise and sun.  Leslie is, just like last year, a fish.  She was going off the diving board within minutes of getting there and zooming all over. With Kenna, we are have to start all over with the swim lessons.  To keep her legs straight while kicking, I had to hold her knees. 

This will only work for so long.

We all got home tired and a little hungry, so the kids and I had some chocolate pie.  It is one of my favorite things.  So simple:  Oreo crust, Jell-O instant chocolate pudding, and a healthy dose of Cool-Whip. 

Kristin is off to meet with a friend she is reading a book with, then it's dinner  and camping. 

I'm sure tomorrow's edition will be a lively one.

DAY FORTY TWO: Getting Culture

Today was the first day off for all of us.  We decided that a trip to the library would be a good idea for a first excursion, so off we went.

We got the girls signed up for a summer reading program, and Leslie for a book discussion group.  Apparently they got a grant to try to increase kids getting books, and decided to do a discussion group for incoming second graders.  There are also ones for incoming first and third graders.  Should be interesting.

A relaxing afternoon has now translated into an evening of homemade waffles and a viewing of Wizard of Oz. 

That's how we do culture around here.