Kristin found out she did not get the job at Oakwood- the one she felt went well.
Yes, I know that I still have my interview possibility, and Kristin still has her other one, but I can't hope anymore.
I am tired.
I am tired of trusting that God is taking care of us. Our friends and family have been generous and kind and provided for us, and you may say that God has been behind that. Maybe He has. But I'm just not sure.
Is this a crisis of faith? Absolutely. Will I be OK once I vent some? I don't know this time. Usually I can conclude on of my "doubting blogs" with hope, but I just can't seem to muster any. We have seen the hope of some rescue from the deadline of our savings running out several times now. I've been denied three or four jobs at A&M, Kristin has now been denied two jobs she was more than qualified for- the last one she really wanted.
I know some of you will want to give me encouraging Scripture or gentle platitudes. Some will want to tell me to be patient, to hold on to hope a little longer. Some will want to tell me that God has control of this.
Please don't.
I know those answers. I've told them to people too many times myself. I've seen them come true for many of those people. But it has been a long time since I have seen them come true for my family.
Please pray for us. Please pray for me. I want to trust God, I want to believe He has good planned for me, but I just cannot muster the strength to do that right now.
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